I just feel like I’m doing everything wrong and I hate having people mad at me, but at the same time I know that deep down inside it makes perfect sense for Kayla to be mad at me, because in even being angry that she’s talking to mike, I’m basically saying that I don’t trust her, and I feel horrible about that fact. But the truth is, it’s not that I don’t trust her, I honestly don’t trust mike. Every time she’s gone, I keep thinking that mike will try to make a move on her, and like out of nowhere and just kiss her, and then she will tell Evan and they will break up. But the bigger question is, why does this fact bother me so much, Sure I don’t want to see Kayla or Evan hurt, but at the same time its something more. I tend to think of them as one person, as kaylaandevan or evanandkayla, but not as two separate people, but when she said that today, it kind of struck me, like she’s right. She is a person with a brain, and feelings, and a heart. But there’s just something about mike that I don’t like. Call me crazy or whatever but there's just something I don’t like about him, but I need to try and keep my opinions to myself. Ive learned enough, and I will just treat this thing just as I did with Katie in Wilmington. Like I don’t like it, not one bit, but at the same time, there’s nothing I can do about it. And its not my place to do anything about it. But I guess the question is, should I give this to Kayla or not, or should I just keep it to myself and see how it goes?? I really don’t know. And im sure I’ll look back one day and realize that Clayton was just a little too much of an asshole to me, but right now that’s not the case. I really like him, I like him a lot, but its like I cant like him. Like he means way to much to me, for me to like him, and possibly ruin our friendship. But back to Kayla and mike, idk, but I get the same feeling with him that I got with heather’s ex-bf, that hes just playing her, but at the same time, shes not his to play. And I think that’s what makes me the maddest. That he’s being so sweet to her ,and saying all the right things, but im kinda like “woah buddy, back up here, shes with someone else, someone who happens to be waaaayy better than you”, I mean I may not like Evan, I may think hes ugly or whatever, but Kayla obviously does like him, and I just hope Mike realizes this, you know what, I am going to give this to Kayla. Because I finally got all that I’m feeling out, and yea it’s a jumble and may not even make sense, but its my honest opinion.

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